November 2016 – POLITICS – Bad news for anyone looking to relocate to our neighbor to the north after last night’s election results: Canada doesn’t want you. After Americans—and especially American celebrities—began considering making good on their promises to “move to Canada” in the wake of Donald Trump election victory, Canadians took to Twitter to warn Americans that they’d best stay where they are. They’re even talking about building their own wall—to keep immigrants from American out of their pristine cities and away from their mounted law enforcement, gravy and cheese covered French fries, superior hockey coverage and French Sesame Street.
Even CBC, Canada’s state-owned broadcasting network, is trying to actively discourage a mass migration. As the Canadian Immigration and Citizenship website crashed last night, the CBC took to its blog to warn people that emigrating to Canada isn’t as easy as jumping a border. To avoid deportation back to Trump’s America, they’d have to spend years in Canada’s aggressive filter system and spend thousands of dollars. And then, they’d have to find jobs in Canada’s crowded urban metropolises—unless, of course, they like farming.
But if there’s anyone Canada really doesn’t want, among the number of celebrities who “seriously’ pledged to move north, it’s Girls star Lena Dunham (though, it seems, they’d also prefer not to house either Miley Cyrus or Amy Schumer). –Heat Street